i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
