the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
