im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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