Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
