At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
