He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
