They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
