I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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