I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
as a side note pls kill me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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