It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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