sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
