I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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