I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
