between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
