If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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