They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
