It's Friday. Sex?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
