the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
