I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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