don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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