the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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