I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
