i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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