??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
