can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
