They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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