Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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