I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
