you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
