there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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