no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
