if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just want to make out with him forever
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
