Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
