I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
