she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
