if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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