Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
