I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
