Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
