She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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