If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
