I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
