chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We are two peas in an std pod
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
