Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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