This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
