Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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