What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Two words: nipple clamps
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