Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
