Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
