I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
